Photo by saschapohflepp

There’s been much talk in the press lately of the re-discovery of The Good Wife’s Guide, a Housekeeping Monthly article from 1955. There has also been much talk about whether it’s real or a hoax. Regardless of this, most of us would probably agree that it is a pretty accurate portrayal of what was happening in gender relations in the 1950’s. But no more. A survey by the Ideal Home Show has concluded that men no longer expect their wives to have mastered the art of cake baking or to be adept at the discreet application of curlers. The Independent on Sunday has shown, in an exhaustive survey that:

…it has become apparent that women’s requirements for a perfect husband have also shifted. Gone are the days when a man had to come home from a hard day’s clerking only to be expected to change a light bulb and cough up the housekeeping. Once she has cottoned on to the Reader’s Digest DIY Manual a woman doesn’t need a man to change her fuses.

But there are some things even a modern girl struggles with. Husbands are important for having pockets and being able to reach high things. They’re useful for taking on holiday and even the most separatist feminist sometimes needs a dance partner – preferably one who’s mastered the art of being Just Gay Enough.

Physicality is important: the face should be one that can give the impression of listening; but a torso like David Beckham’s is less valuable than never being seen to do anything to achieve it. The other aspects of Beckham in a perfect husband are more difficult to illustrate in a family newspaper.

Once, a real man was expected to bring home the bacon. Now ladies can buy their own bacon, they want a man to cook it and bring it to them with brown sauce on a Sunday morning.

Don’t tell the Mail, but Naughties women say that if a man can string a sentence together he may not even need to pay her housekeeping money in order to get her to listen to him.